Cold and Hot
by cupcake01
Summary: Sequel to "Desert Beauty" Greg doesn't feel well after his kidnapping, but he doesn't dare to speak with his friends about his problems. Please review! Oh, and sorry for spelling and grammar mistakes ;) NOW COMPLETE :)
1. Prologue

**Hi guys! Since I had so much fun writing "Desert Beauty" , I decided to write a sequel. I hope you like it, it contains more about Greg's feelings, and I hope I'll do a good job for you. Please don't forget to review and tell me what you think :)**

**Oh and, please forgive me all spelling and grammar mistakes ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything :(**

**Have fun with reading**

**cupcake01**

"Greg? Greg, can you hear me?" Was this Nick's voice?

"Huh?", Greg asked quietly, leaning to his locker. He wasn't feeling that good, dizzy and... weak?

"C'mon buddy, sit down", Nick said, leading him softly on the bench. What happened to the kid? He was sweating, trembling and unbelievably pale. He looks like a ghost. He didn't look like that when he saw him in the morning.

Greg tried to open his eyes. He didn't want to upset Nick. He had done enough for him since the kidnapping. The man had his own worries, he doesn't need to carry for him.

"I'm okay", Greg whispered. Nick was kneeling in front of him, feeling his forehead. It wasn't hot, it was cold. _So why is he sweating_, Nick asked himself before answering his friend.

"No you're not. Greg, you nearly collapsed!", he said, looking in Greg's eyes.

"It's nothing, that happened..." Greg tried to say, but couldn't finish the sentence. Another wave of dizziness was overwhelming him and he closed his eyes again.

"Do you want to say that this has happened already several times?" Nick asked shocked. God, why didn't he noticed something?

"It'll be over soon", Greg said, opening his eyes again. He began to feel better.

"You need to go to the hospital", Nick said calmly. "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"That's why", Greg whispered. He looked up. "You know, you have your own problems, and I don't want to make them even... bigger".

Nick was shocked. Really shocked. It didn't even came in his mind to think that Greg was a "problem" for him.

"Greg, I...", he wanted to speak, but was interrupted.

"Hey guys, do you want to go for a drink or something? Shift is over", Warrick said from the door. Then he saw his two colleagues, Greg sitting on the bench with closed eyes and apparently not feeling well. And Nick, kneeling in front of him and feeling Greg's forehead.

"Is Greg okay?", he asked Nick worried.

Suddenly Greg stood up. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes.

"I'm okay! Why won't you believe me, everything's just as damn good!", he said loudly and angrily. With that, he stormed out of the locker room.

"Greg wait!", Nick exclaimed. But it was too late, the kid was gone.

Warrick looked at Nick, still worried. "What was that?"

"Nothing good", Nick answered, looking at his friend with the same worries in his eyes.

**Aaaaand cut. So, did you like it? Pleeeeeease give me a review and feedback my first chapter, I'd really appreciate it :)**

**And remember, the more reviews I get, the faster I'll update another chapter :)**

**cupcake01**


	2. Worries

**Hey guys! You are just great, do you know that? 4 very kind Reviews, and that was only the prologue! Thank you so much! So I promised to continue when I got enough reviews, and here's the next chapter. I really hope you'll like it and please don't forget me to give a feedback on this one as well :)**

**And now, as always,**

**Have fun with reading :)**

**cupcake01**

He was just so angry. Not with Nick, nor with Warrick. Just with himself. God, why was he even so stupid? It was just great for a good month, and now he ruined everything!

Greg pushed the door to his new appartement open as he locked it up. As soon as he went in, he went straight to the bathroom on the right side of the entrance door. He looked in the mirror.

Nick was right. He definetly wasn't feeling well, he was pale, got huge dark rings below his glassy eyes and the dizziness was still there, the trembling too. Not that the trembling had gotten away. It was always there, but somehow Greg managed to hide it for this month.

He washed his face with some cold water, but he didn't feel really better. Maybe he should call Nick, tell him that he was sorry. Maybe he really should go to the hospital. Greg looked in the mirror again, and slowly shook his head. No, there was no way he was going to back in there. This was something, he had to do on his own.

…...

Nick wasn't sure what to do. It wasn't like Greg to be that angry and in rage. And it wasn't like Greg to hide something, although Nick could imagine why he reacted like that. And it hurts. It hurts to know that Greg doesn't trust him, or anybody in the team enough to say that he has problems since the kidnapping. Nick was also angry with himself. Why didn't he recognized it? Why was he so self-focused that he didn't remarked that the kid needed help? _It's not too late_, whispered a little voice in his head. _Hopefully not,_ Nick thought and dialed a number on his cell phone.

"N...Nick?", Greg's voice answered. It wasn't really Greg's voice. It didn't sound happy, it was something like fear in there.

"Greg, I just wanted to ask if you are okay", Nick said, trying to stay calm. He feared that the kid was going to get upset again.

He could hear that Greg took a deep breath, and then coughed. _This is really not good, _Nick thought worried.

"Nick, I... I'm sorry", Greg whispered weakly. Suddenly Nick could hear a cough again, and a muffled sound, like something just hit the floor.

"Greg? Greg, can you hear me? Come on, answer me G!", Nick nearly screamed in the phone. He got no answer.

…...

Greg coughed. Was this his phone that rang? He tried to pull it out. It was clear that only one person would call him.

"N...Nick?" Damn, he tried so hard not to cough again, but failed. Why did he have to sound that weak? Nick was only going to worry even more.

"Greg, I just wanted to ask if you are okay" Nick's voice answered. It didn't sound that worried, but calm. Why would Nick be calm? That was strange. Suddenly Greg felt even more dizzy, and ill. God, why wouldn't it stop? It always stopped, why not today? Why not now?

"Nick,I... I'm sorry" Greg managed to say. And then the dizziness was overwhelming him again, he had to close his eyes, dropped his cell phone from his hands. _Please no, I don't want to be in a hospital_, was the last thought that came to Greg's mind as he fell to the bathroom floor, unconscious.

…...

Nick was still standing in the locker room, with the cell phone in his hands.

"Nick, what happened?" Warrick asked. It certainly wasn't anything good. Nick got pale like a ghost, and then there were his eyes. They were filled with... shock? Worries? Guilt?

"Nick!" Warrick said again, now a bit louder. His friend just stood there, just like at the day when Greg had been kidnapped.

Finally his colleague looked up and dropped his cell phone at the same time.

"We have to go to Greg, and call an ambulance", Nick said with a trembling voice.

"What, why?", Warrick said, pulling his phone out of his pants.

"I think Greg, he just... collapsed", Nick whispered, his eyes filled with horror.

Warrick starred at him for a few seconds that felt like forever, then nodded and dialed the number.

**Aaaaaaaand cut :) (yep, I really like to say that ;D) So, what do you guys think? Any idea what will happen next? Please don't forget to give me a review, and thanks for reading and following, you guys are really the best! **

**cupcake01**

**PS.: Again, sorry for all grammar and spelling mistakes. I hope there aren't too many ;)**


	3. Waking up

**Oh man, Guys, you love me, right? So many reviews for the last chapter, that's just awesome! So here's the next chapter and I really hope you like it :) **

**Please keep on motivating me with your nice reviews (but you can give me adviece as well of course ;D)**

**Have fun with reading!**

**Cupcake01**

Greg didn't felt that well. He tried to open his eyes but failed. They were just... too heavy.

"_I just hope he's going to be okay" _

Okay, that was strange. He was hallucinating. Again. He could hear Nick's voice, but this was not possible. He was in his apartment, wasn't he?

"_Me too." _Grissom's voice. _"The kid has gone through hell, he definitely doesn't deserve to go through this again."_

To deserve what again? What were they talking about?

"_God, I'm just so... You know, why didn't I recognize anything? I mean, he had been hiding this for a month now, and I didn't see it. Did you know what he told me in the locker room?"_

No, what did I told you? Greg thought. He couldn't imagine he had done anything to Nick. His hallucinating were just a damn nightmare.

"_He said to me he doesn't want to be a problem to me! Can you imagine how I felt? He never said that before, and he always trusted me. This is just... god, I wish this all never happened!"_

Yep, that sounds like me, Greg thought. Now he felt really bad. He didn't want Nick to be upset.

He tried to open his eyes.

"_Nick, I'm sure he doesn't meant what he said. He's traumatized, Things like this just happen."_, Grissom said.

"_I know that Greg wasn't himself, but I'm not sure if..."_

"N... Nick?", Greg tried to say. It was not more than a quiet whisper.

"Oh thank god", Nick said. He was standing right at his bed. Why was he in a bed? Could it be that he was in...

"Where am I?", Greg asked quietly and suddenly begann to panic. He doesn't want to be here. Not again!

"Greg, buddy, calm down", Nick said, touching his hand. God, the kid was so damn cold! "Grissom, go call the doctor".

"Nick, I don't want...", Greg moaned. He had to cough. He felt ill, just like when Nick found hi in the locker room.

"Shhht, Greg it's okay, nobody is going to hurt you". He tried to touch Greg's hand again, but his friend pulled it back.

"Please, no hospital", Greg managed to whisper and loocked up, straight in Nick's eyes. What Nick saw nearly broke his hard. His friend, his little brother was lying there, pale as a ghost, sweating, and his eyes were just filled with... fear.

Nick was just about to say something to calm him down, as the doctor came into the room, with Grissom following him. He fast went to Greg's bed, feeling his forehead. Greg tried to avoid his touch. He didn't want anybody to see him like this. And he definitely doesn't need a doctor. He just wanted to be allone.

"Who...? He wanted to ask the man who was obviously the doctor.

"Mr. Sanders, I need you to calm down", the doc said calmly. "You are save here and nobody here wants to harm you". He looked in the eye of the young man. He was sweating, but felt cold at the same time.

Greg tried to take a deep breath. Finally he succeded, closed his eyes again.

"That's it buddy, focus on breathing and stay calm. Take it easy". This was Nicks voice again.

Greg began to feel better. Still a bit dizzy, he opened his eyes again and saw in the worried faces of the doc, Nick and Grissom.

"That's better", the doc said, smiling at him. Greg didn't want to smile back. He still doesn't want to be here.

"Now that he's awake it's clear that he's in a state of shock", the doctor explained, turning his head to Nick.

"Shock? Why?" he asked. What a stupid question!

"Well, because of... the earlier circumstances he avoided to speak about his feelings. He is heavily traumatized, and sometimes the shock comes later than you might think."

What? What was he talking about? He wasn't traumatized. He's just... not well. And he was there, why does the doctor speak about him like he wasn't there? He just wanted to leave them.

Greg tried to sit up, and was gently pushed back by Grissom.

"Greg, I don't think you should go anywhere right now", he said.

"Well, you don't give a shit about if I'm here or not, so I can leave now anyway", Greg said quietly.

Grissom looked at Nick. He didn't expected something like that. The kid never talked to him like that, and it wasn't like him to be... that irrational.

"Greg, you need to rest", Grissom tried again. "You collapsed in your apartment. We found you three days ago, lying on your bathroomfloor. Don't you remember?"

Three days? Wait, could it be that he have been lying in this damn bed for three days?

"I have to leave you guys now, I have another patient waiting for me", the docctor said, looking at Grissom and Nick. Not at Greg, and it makes him even more angrier. "If he panics again or something else is happening, please call me at any time."

With that, he left the room. Now there was only Grissom, Nick and Greg.

"Three days?", Greg finally whispered. God, why was he so stupid? Everything was fine for a whole month and then he has to ruin everything through his... weakness.

"Yeah, you really scared us", Nick said quietly. He wanted to touch Greg's hand again, but he didn't dare it. It probably wasn't a good idea.

"Okay, so now I'm awake", Greg suddenly said, his look getting cold. "Can I leave now?"

_What was the boy talking about?_ Nick thought worried. He just heard that he collapsed, he has been in a … well, he has been in a coma for _three_ days, and now he want to leave the hospital?

_What is your problem?_ Nick just asked himself.

"Greg, you have to rest. The doc said that you probably didn't sleep for a while, and you were slightly dehydrated. You need to stay..."

"Please, I just want to get out of here!", Greg was now pleading. Nick looked at Grissom and sighted. This was not going to be easy.

"Greg, do you want to tell us how you're feeling?" Grissom tried. The kid was still trembling as hell, and he surely was ill or dizzy. Or both.

"I...", Greg began, his eyes looked rotatory to Nick and then Grissom.

"I... I'm sorry, I didn't want to be mean to you", he finally whispered. He looked up. "Can I be alone?"

He looked at Nick again. Nick could see that Greg was near to tears. He couldn't leave him alone, not like this.

"Greg, I don't think...", Nick wanted to say, but was interrupted by Grissom.

"Come on Nick, you heard him", he said, looking in the eyes of his colleague. Greg looked back, and he seemed to be relieved.

"But Grissom, shouldn't we..."

"No, Greg wants to be alone", Grissom continued. "come on, let's give him some room".

Nick looked one last time at Greg. He was still trembling, still sweating but it seems that he was at least trying to relax.

He nodded. "Ok. Greg, if you need anything, we're right out there. Just call us, okay?"

Greg nodded, his eyes closed again. He couldn't... no he doesn't want to look in their faces anymore. He just wasn't sure if he could handle it.

"Thanks", he whispered.

One minute later he was finally on his own.

_**Aaaaaaaaand cut :) poor Greg... I hope he gets better soon! So what do you think will happen next? And did you like this chapter? I tried to write it longer as usual because you guys left such nice reviews for me, I hope I succeded ;)**_

_**Don't forget to give me a feedback on this, and pleeeeease keep on reading, following and reviewing :)**_

_**Cupcake01**_


	4. nightmares

**Hey my lovely readers! Here's the next chapter for you, and thanks for the nice reviews, your just awesome! **

**Oh, and there's time for a disclaimer: No characters belong to me, except Mark... and I'm pretty proud that he's mine ;) **

**Have fun with reading**

**Cupcake01**

_4 Weeks ago_

"Greg, are you sure you want to go back to work that soon?", Grissom asked. They were in the office, Grissom behind his desk with some files on it. Greg stood in front of him.

"Yeah, I mean, why not? The... injuries are healed and there's no reason why I should be sitting at home."

Grissom looked in the eyes of the younger CSI. He sighed. He knew that the kid wasn't ready for work. God, he wasn't even sure if he was ready himself! After the kidnapping and being shot, he hardly talked about with Greg about... the circumstances. And he knew that Greg didn't talked with Nick or other friends about this. Although he should have.

"It's just...", Grissom began, "You don't have to confirm that you're tough or something. I know you are, and if you need any vacation, or talk to somebody, you know that you have your friends, your family around here".

Greg looked down. He hated this. Everybody had this look on their faces when they were talking to him. He hated the pity, the guilt in their eyes. There was no need to be guilty, especially not for Grissom. This man saved his life, Greg should be the one to feel guilty!

"It's okay, I... I don't need more time", Greg finally said. "I just want to work"

_Present_

God, he doesn't want to be here! He had too many bad memories, after the lab explosion, after the beating and now after the kidnapping. It was over a month ago when he was released from the hospital, but he still had nightmares. He knew he should be there. He was feeling ill and dizzy, he was sweating and he felt hot. He felt like he was in the desert again, tied up at the house, and everytime he closed his eyes, he still saw Grissom, lying on the ground.

Suddenly he saw him. He was there! He grinned, with the knife in his hands, the damn kitchen knife. There was blood on it. His own blood.

"No", Greg whispered. This couldn't be true. Nick said he was dead, shot. How could he be here in the hospital, in his room?

"Did you missed me, boy?", Mark asked and laughed. Greg wanted to sit up, to escape, but he couldn't move. He was just... so scared. So weak.

"You're dead", Greg finally managed to say. Mark was coming closer, attached the knife on his throat.

"I'll never be dead", Mark whispered in his ear and grinned.

…...

Outside of Greg's room, Grissom and Nick were standing in front of the door, drinking coffee. Coffee was Nick's life elixir for the past four days. Well, actually for the past twenty years.

"Grissom, why should we left him alone? You said yourself that he's traumatized. He needs friends to help him!"

Nick was angry. His little brother was in this room, alone, and his own boss doesn't even care. He couldn't understand it. Why was Grissom so... emotional when Greg was kindapped? And why does he act like this now?

"Nick, do you have any idea how Greg is feeling right now?", Grissom asked him calmly.

Nick wanted to scream at him. Of course he knew! But.. how did _he_ felt after _his own_ kidnapping? Certainly, he didn't want to talk about with anyone. And although he knew that his team saved his life, it was difficult to trust them again. To be normal again and to look in there faces, filled with pity. They still are like that sometimes.

"God, I didn't even thought about it", Nick whispered. He looked up in Grissom's face, who nodded.

"I thought... well, Greg acted like there had been nothing, so I thought he was okay, he was over it. How could I be so... stupid?!" He punched at the wall.

"Nick, it's not your fault", Grissom said quietly. He gently touched his colleagues shoulder, trying to calm him.

"I should have talked to him. Or at least ask him how he feels. I just..", Grissom took a deep breath. "I just thought that it would be the best to continue working, and it was the best for me. But not for..."

Suddenly they could hear a scream. It was Greg, he was screaming in there!

Nick didn't hesitate and pushed the door to his room open. He shuddered. Greg was still lying in the bed, but he wasn't calm. His eyes were closed, and he was obviously sleeping... and heaving a nightmare.

"No", he screamed. "You're dead, you're dead".

Grissom pushed Nick out of the way, and rushed to Greg's side. He touched his hand, trying to calm the younger CSI down.

"Greg, wake up, please".

"Go away! You bastard!" Greg screamed again. The monitors on his side suddenly began to peep really fast.

"Nick, go and call the doctor!"

Nick just stood there, didn't want to believe what was happening.

"Nick!", Grissom raised his voice. Finally Nick nodded, went out of the room.

Greg was still screaming.

"Greg, calm down, you're save here. Mark is dead, he can't do anything!", Grissom said to him. He felt his forehead. It was cold as ice.

Suddenly the doctor was standing next to him, some nurses around.

"What happened?", he asked Grissom.

"We were standing outside, and Greg must have fell asleep. He's having a nightmare."

The doc nodded and felt Greg's forehead, like Grissom before. The boy was so cold! There was something wrong.

"God, leave me alone!", Greg screamed again. Suddenly he was silent. The monitors were peeping even faster.

"He's going into shock", the doc said fast to the nurses. "Give him something to calm down. And bring some blankets, he's having fever."

Grissom still stood there in horror and watched the doc doing his work. He just hope that the kid was going to be alright.

"Okay, good. He calmed down." The doctor finally turned to Grissom.

"Did something like this happened before? I mean, did he had nightmares?"

Grissom thought what to answer. "I don't think so. He didn't talk about it. Why, do you think that he... that he's dreaming from...?"

"Well, as I said, he's in shock. That means, every human acts individually with this kind of things. If I take a guess, I would say he's living his kidnapping again."

"What makes you think that?" Grissom asked worried. Wasn't it enough that Greg went through it once? Does it really have to be a second time, when he should feel save and sound instead?

"Well, first because of what he was saying when I came in here. Secondly he's sweating, which means that his brain thinks he's too warm. You said he was hold in the desert when you found him, didn't you?"

Grissom nodded.

"I felt is forehead and he is not hot, he is cold. This means that the shock, the traumatisation he's going through, cause those nightmares..."

"But... how can we stop it?" Grissom interrupted him

"Well, that's difficult. As I said, every human acts individually, and Mr. Sanders here is no exception. I would say, he has to talk about it, and maybe it'll get better if he knows that there are people around him that are here for him."

Grissom nodded again.

"He's sleeping now. Let's hope he won't get another nightmare. Talk to him when he wakes up. I'm sure it'll help."

The doctor left the room.

Grissom was now alone with Greg.

**Aaaaaaand cut :) wow, I have no idea how I'm going to end this story... but I really hope you liked this chapter and keep on reading. Please don't forget to give me a feedback on this one and review the chapter, I'd really appreciate it :)**

**Oh, and sorry for not being that professional with the medicine stuff... It's just a fanfic, so I just hope you enjoy the reading :)**

**Cupcake01**


	5. Not again!

**Bonjour! How are you all? Thanks for the many Reviews I received for the last chapter, I was so happy to read them :) **

**Here's the new one, I hope you'll like it. Please don't forge to give me a feedback **

**Have fun with reading**

**cupcake01**

_3 weeks ago_

As Greg came home from work he just felt tired. He had been at the lab for at least 17 hours, which means he didn't sleep... much. He didn't want to sleep anyway. Everytime he closed his eyes he saw Grissom falling on the ground, dead. Every. Damn. Time.

Certainly, he had to do psychotherapies. But it didn't really help to speak about it. He didn't want to burden or stress anybody even more so he just thought that it was the best if he didn't go there again. He had made the hours he had to do anyway, so it wasn't a big deal.

Greg sighed as he went through the door of his new appartement. He moved to this one because he couldn't live in his old one. He just couldn't live in a house were the walls were full of his own blood, even though he couldn't see it. But it was still there.

The trembling didn't get better as well. He was able to hide it in front of the others, since he wasn't allowed to work in the field yet. However, he knew that it was there, and it didn't really stop. The working helped, but as soon as he was at home, alone, everything just got worse. That was why he asked Grissom if he could return to work, although he didn't really felt ready for working.

Suddenly his cell phone rang. Greg pulled it out of his jeans pocket. It was Nick. Greg sighed again and answered it.

"Yeah?", Greg said. He was even too tired to say his name.

"Hey G, my shift is over and I have tickets for the next match. Do you want to come with me and Warrick?"

Greg didn't know what to answer. On the one hand, he was just so tired. On the other hand, if he'd say no, Nick would be worried. And he didn't want anybody to be worried because of him. Not again.

"Greg? Are you still there?", Nick asked.

"Yeah", the younger CSI replied. "I'd like to come".

"Great! I'll pick you up in an hour, is that ok?"

"Yep, sounds nice", Greg said. "See you later."

"Ok, bye"

Greg hang up. This was going to be a long day.

_Present_

Nick was standing outside of Greg's room, a cup of coffee in his hands. He still couldn't believe what happened. Greg was... he wasn't himself anymore. And Nick had a feeling that it was his fault. Why didn't he recognise anything? Now he knew why Greg was acting that strange at the football match three weeks ago. And now he knew why Greg looked like hell for the past month. He wasn't just "a bit overworked", as the younger CSI said when Nick asked him if he was OK. Apparantly, he just needed help to get over the kidnapping situation, to get over with the nightmares, and he, Nick wasn't there for his little brother. And now he couldn't even go into this damn room, to go and see him. He was just scared that this would happen again, that he had to call the doc again. Nick closed his eyes. What should he do?

…...

"_Greg?"_ No, go away!

"Greg, can you wake up? Please?" No I don't want to wake up! And why do you say "please"? You're a damn killer, killers aren't polite!

"_Greg, nobody's going to hurt you, you are save and he doesn't come back"._

Now that was strange. Why wouldn't he come back?

"_Come on, I know you can make it" _Wait, this wasn't him. This was Grissom!

"_Please open those eyes for me. I just want to make sure that you're OK"_

Yep, definitely Grissom. And if it was him, he had to open his eyes. It was his boss, and he had to do what he was saying.

"_Greg? Yeah, that's it", _Grissom calmly said. God, he was so tired. Why was he tired when he just slept for a while?

"_'som?", _Greg moaned. He managed to open his eyes for a gap. He saw Grissom's face in front of him.

"Yeah it's me. How are you feeling?"

"Not... good", Greg said quietly. His vision was blurry, he couldn't think clear. Why was he in the bed again?

"What... happened?"

"You were having a nightmare, Greg", Grissom explained patiently.

"Nightmare? I don't understand..."

"Greg, you nearly felt in coma again", his boss continued. He just wanted to make him clear that he needed help.

"You gave me quite a scare".

"Sorry".

God, why did he just said this? Why was he sorry? The kid shouldn't be sorry for anything!

"Greg, there's nothing you should be sorry for", Grissom finally said and looked him in the eyes. "You can talk to me, you know that?"

Greg said nothing. He just couldn't. He knew that he can talk with Grissom, but he didn't want to. He didn't even wanted to think about.

"Can you leave me alone?" Greg asked quietly. Please,_ just let him go._

"Greg, there's no way I'm going to leave you again", Grissom said.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it yet, but I don't go now and leave you alone. Family is here for each other, do you remember?"

"Really?" Greg asked, his look getting colder again. "So why aren't the others here then? Why was the doctor speaking about me like I wasn't even here? Why did you speak about me like that?" Greg closed his eyes. "I just... I just don't want this anymore, Grissom."

Grissom starred at the kid. God, why did he feels like that? This was just not right!

"Greg, what do you mean by that?", he asked. He tried to touch his hand, but Greg pulled it back, just like with Nick. Grissom sighed.

"I don't want to see in your faces and have the feeling to be... to be a freak or something like that.", he whispered.

Now Grissom was shocked. To be a freak? Greg wasn't a freak, for heaven's sake! How could he even think such a thing?

"Greg, nobody here treats you like a freak", Grissom replied. "We're just worried, and..."

"Yeah, you're worried that it will happen again, that I'm not capable to live on my own again!", Greg suddenly exclaimed. He had enough. "You know, I was alone for the last month, so I can live on my own in the future! Why won't you just leave me alone?"

Suddenly the monitors begann to peep fast again. Greg had to close his eyes.

"Greg, calm down please", Grissom said loudly, but Greg wasn't able to hear him. "Greg? Come on, don't do this again."

Grissom ran to the door and opened it. Nick was standing there.

"Nick, Nick, call the doc again!"

"What? Why...?", Nick wanted to ask but heared the peep of the monitors. He nodded and ran to the doc's office.

**Aaaaaaaaaaaand cut** **:) aaaaaaaw, I'm so mean to make a cliffy here ;) Are you excited what will happen next? Don't worry, next chapter will be online by tomorrow. Don't forget to review :)**

**Cupcake01**


	6. Sorry

**Hi guys! Did I already mentioned that you're awesome? Thanks for the nice reviews! It is really motivating me to write a new chapter, and here it is, just for you ;) **

**Have fun with reading**

**cupcake01**

_3 weeks ago, the day after the match_

As Greg's alarm clock went off, he didn't open his eyes immediately. He was still tired. And he hadn't really slept as well. He just couldn't. At least he could hide the trembling in front of Warrick and Nick, although it had been close. As he had wanted to hold a bottle of water, he just couldn't held it. The bottle dropped on the floor and Warrick and Nick have been standing there, with a surprise look at him.

"_Greg, are you okay?", _Nick finally had asked, and his look was getting worried. _"You look so pale". _Greg looked up. He felt ill again, but he didn't want them to … recognize it.

He tried to smile.

"_Yeah. Yeah, the bottle just... you know, it was just a bit greasy"_

"_Are you sure man? You look like you've seen a ghost", _Warrick said, smiling back.

"_No, I mean.. yes, everything's fine. I just... ."_ He looked at them, took a deep breath and... suddenly ran out of the building. He still could Nick yelling behind him. "_Greg, wait! Greg!"_

Greg sighed. It was really close. He was just about to tell them. But he couldn't. And now he was sure that Nick and Warrick were mad with him. God, why did he run away? This was so childish, and his friends must be furious right now. Maybe he should call them, say he was sorry.

_Present_

Nick just couldn't go in there. Not again. Everytime he wanted to go a step forward to Greg's door, he hear his screams, although Greg was... sleeping right now.

"Nick, are you okay?"

It was Catherine's voice, and he could feel that she was touching his shoulder.

"Come on, let's head to the caféteria, Sarah and Warrick are there as well.

She leads him through the corridors when they came to the little restaurant in the hospital. Sarah and Warrick already took place in the edge of the room as Catherine came with Nick.

They both looked up as Nick sat down.

"Nick, what happened?", Sarah asked. They weren't allowed to go into Greg's room, because the doctor said that if there was more than one person, Greg might be too stressed again.

"He... ", Nick started. He couldn't even look in there faces.

"He is having nightmares. The doc said that he's in a state of shock, and they gave him something against his fever. He's sleeping now".

"God, no", Catherine whispered. As if the kid hadn't suffered enough!

"Grissom is in there with him."

"Did he... said something when he woke up before?", Warrick asked quietly.

"Yeah..." Nick whispered. He took a deep breath. "He said he wanted to leave the hospital. As I told him that he collapsed in his apartment, he just told us that he was sorry and he wanted to be alone." Nick stopped for a second before he continued. "God, he didn't even let me to touch his hand!"

Suddenly he punched at the table.

"Nick, calm down", Sarah said, gently rubbing his back.

"Grissom... Grissom said that Greg probably feels like me when I was kidnapped. I... I was just too self-focused that I didn't even recognize anything. I didn't even asked him!"

"Nicky, this isn't your fault", Catherine said.

"Yeah man. Do you remember the match?" Warrick asked. Nick nodded, but he didn't looked him in the eyes.

"What match?", Sarah asked.

"Well, a few weeks ago, Nick, Greg and I went to a football match. We thought it would be nice for Greg if he had some company". Warrick looked up. "When we were at the match, it seemed like Greg was a bit tired, but since he worked a lot for the past month, we didn't really thought that it was... a problem." His voice was getting near to a whisper. "And then... then he dropped the water bottle."

"Maybe it was just greasy", Catherine said. Now it was Nick who spoke. "Yeah... yeah, Greg said that too, but suddenly he looked pale as a ghost, and he was shaking like there was an earthquake". Nick made a pause. "As I asked him if he was okay, he wanted to say something. But then... he looked in my face and ran away."

"He ran away? Didn't you guys stop him?", Catherine asked.

Nick closed his eyes. "No. I... I thought he would have his reasons. And he called me the next day to say that he was sorry and he just had to go because he was too tired."

"God, we were so stupid", Warrick said. "How could we think he was okay? I mean, we didn't even spoke with Grissom that he shouldn't let him work that hard."

Sarah and Catherine looked at each other. They didn't know what to say so their boys felt better, when they heard Grissom's voice from behind him.

"I guess I was a bit stupid as well". The four looked up, surprised that Grissom was standing at their table. Nobody of them had seen him coming.

"Do you guys want to visit Greg?"

…...

"_Greg, can you hear me?" _No, I want to sleep. I don't want to hear anybody.

"_Greg, I don't know if you're able to hear me, but I wanted to talk to you."_

Was this Sarah's voice? Why can't I open my eyes?

"_Maybe... maybe we all didn't act like a family should have. I just want you to know that we are all proud of you"_

Why would they be proud? I screamed at Grissom, I acted like a fool in front of Nick and Warrick. And Catherine...I'm sure that she even doesn't want to talk with me again after what I've said.

"_Greg? This is Catherine". Strange. He could swear that she never would..._

"_I'm sorry for what I said when... you know. I should have ask you before if you want to take the case. I guess I wasn't that good as a friend, wasn't I?" _She laughed her soft laugh. Catherine, it was all my fault. You shouldn't... I should have talked to you..."

"_Greg? I'm so sorry for letting you down", _Nick's voice suddenly said. God, could this please just stop? _You are not something like a burden or a problem to us. We should...I should have ask you how you're doing. I mean, It's not that I don't know how you feel. When I was kidnapped, I felt that I can't look into your faces again. I couldn't... I couldn't endure the pity and worried filled eyes, and I even couldn't trust you again. It is still difficult today, but the difference is, you told me that family is here for each other. It was because of you that I found a way back of... my depression._ Nick took a deep breath. _And I forgot that you might need somebody that was telling you the same. You are not a freak; you are Greg, our Greg and I miss your coffee, I miss your jokes and even your damn music. I just want... you to wake up so we can be a family again."_

I want to wake up. Really. But I'm just so weak... What if I'd fall asleep again and he will be there? What if he...

"_Greg, this is Grissom." _Oh no. I'm really sorry Grissom. I didn't mean screaming at you, I just... I just was so furious. And I don't even know why.

"_I know you can wake up", _Grissom continued. "_I know you are tough. I shouldn't have let you work that hard for the past month. I … I thought it was the best, but it wasn't. It would have been better if I talked with you..._

I want to wake up! Please, I want to wake up and tell them that I'm sorry. To tell them that none of this is their fault, and I want to wake up because I know I've been stupid and they want to help me... Come on Sanders, open your damn eyes!

"..._Grissom?"_

_**aaaaaaaaaaaaand cut :) wow, that's a pretty emotional chapter. Did you like it? Please don't forget to review :D**_

_**cupcake01**_


	7. Family

**Hello lovely readers!**** I hope you're looking forward to this next chapter here, I really tried to write as fast as I could ;) Oh, and this will be the last one of this story, although I planned to write more... Anyway, I hope you'll like the end :)**

**Please don't forget to give me a feedback... pleeeease ;) **

**Have fun with reading**

**cupcake01**

_One week ago_

Catherine rushed into Greg's lab. Well, it really wasn't _Greg's lab_ anymore, since he worked in the field. But after the kidnapping, Grissom was scared to... confront him with other cases.

Catherine was angry. They needed Greg on the field, and she couldn't understand why he could not go back. He was working in the lab here for weeks, so why not help them out?

Greg stood at the table in front of the microscope.

"Greg!"

He turned back. He didn't even recognize that Catherine was coming into the room. He sighed. This... situation was getting worse and worse. He put his hands in the pocket.

"Yeah? Sorry I didn't hear you were coming", he said, looking on the floor. He hoped that Catherine didn't remarked that he was sweating.

"I... Why are you here, Greg?" Catherine asked. She was just... furious. He was looking in his damn microscope while her team had to examine 5 cases...

"What do you mean?" Now Greg was confused. Why was Catherine starring that angrily at him?

"Why can't you just go back to the field? You're doing nothing in here, you just... you just do your lab stuff and this doesn't help anyone of us."

God, why did she just said this? She bit her lips. Greg was staring at her, didn't knew what to say. He knew that one day... one day somebody would ask him. But still he didn't had an answer. At least no answer he would tell Catherine.

"You know what?" Greg looked back, also with an angry expression on his face. "If I'm just doing nothing here, you can do it on your own. I'm leaving!"

With that, he wanted to storm out of the room, but Catherine was standing on the entrance door.

"Greg, you're not leaving now! Not when we have that much work to do". Her voice was getting more softly. She already regretted that she was coming in here. "Greg, I didn't mean to scream at you, I just want you back in the field."

Catherine suddenly recognize that Greg was really pale. And sweating.

She touched his hands, which was pulled back by him nearly immediately. God, why did he felt this cold?

"Greg, are you okay?" She asked gently. She was just sorry for being that... rude with him. She forgot that he didn't had it easy for the last month.

"I'm just the lab rat here", Greg whispered and looked into her eyes. "Why do you do as if you cared? Why don't you just go back and do what CSI guys do, while I just do my lab stuff, which is apparently nothing at all! I don't need your help, Catherine!"

Catherine was perplex. The Greg she knew never talked to her like that. She was confused.

"Greg, I..."

But Greg just stared at her angrily, pushed her out of the way and went to the locker room.

How could she dare... She wasn't allowed to speak with him like that...

Catherine was still standing at the entrance of Greg's lab, and thought to herself: "God, what have I done...".

_Present_

"Greg? Please, stay calm, there's nobody going to hurt you here..." Grissom calmly said. He was standing next to his bed. Greg tried to open his eyes and finally he could do it. When he succeeded, his vision was blurry at first, but then he could see their faces in front of them. And they weren't worried. Just happy. _Finally you know what I want to see_, Greg thought.

"That's it, you're doing really good", Nick said carefully. He didn't want to upset him again. "Take you time..."

"It's... it's okay", Greg whispered, tried to look up. He wasn't feeling uncomfortable, although he obviously was in this... damn hospital.

"Greg, I'm so happy that you're awake!" Catherine said. She was standing in front of his bed, in between Sarah and Warrick. They were all looking at him.

"I'm just sorry...", Greg began.

"Greg, don't you dare to say you're sorry!", Warrick said loudly. "None of this is your fault, if we just... if we just weren't so stupid to think that you're alright, we would have..."

"Stop it!", Greg interrupted him. He couldn't really raise his voice, but luckily Warrick shut his mouth. "Please, I... Just let me explain. I wanted to tell you guys... that I wasn't feeling that well the last month, but everytime I tried, you just looked at me with that pity in your eyes, with that guilt.". He took a deep breath before he continued. "I knew that you just wanted to help me and you were worried. But I... I thought it would be the best if I... go through this alone."

"Greg...", Nick said, touching his hands. Greg didn't try to pull them back and Nick was surprised. He was sure that he...

"Greg, this is nothing you should be let alone with. We told you, we are your family, we go through this together."

"I know", Greg whispered, looking at him. "I guess I was just scared that you'd think... I'm weak" Nick looked at him, shocked. Never ever he would have thought this!

"After... after I've been there, in the desert", he continued, " I felt like I still was there. I was just... I was feeling cold, and hot at the same time. I could feel his knife on my throat, see his damn grin". Greg closed his eyes.

"He said, he'll never be dead", he said quietly.

"Greg, I shot him with my own gun", Catherine said. "He won't come back, never ever again. And don't ever think again that you are weak. You're the strongest person I know, and if I hadn't been that stupid last week, I would have insured this to you earlier."

Greg looked at her. "Thank you", he said. Then he looked at Grissom.

"I'm sorry about earlier..."

"Greg, I..."

"No, don't say that you're sorry or something. Everytime I close my eyes, I see you lying there, dead. And then I see you here, alive. It's my fault that I'm so... that I'm thinking like that. I just don't know how... How I could stop it."

Grissom looked at him. Greg was pale again, he was trembling as well. It must be really hard to talk about it.

"Greg, we're here for you, as long as you need us.", Grissom finally said. "It will take some time, but I'm sure that... everything will be okay then. Family doesn't quit, do you remember?"

Greg closed his eyes. It was just unbelievable that they were... so nice to him after he acted like a fool.

"Yeah... we don't quit", he finally whispered.

**Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand finished :) So, how did you like the end? Was it too abruptly? I really hope not... **

**Anyway, I'm already planing to write a knew CSI and CM fanfic, so if you got any ideas that you want me to bring in my stories, please let me know :) **

**Aaaaand I also want to say thank you for reading, following and reviewing :) **

**Special thanks to my reviewers**

Marymel** , Guest , **AstroScience** , **SandieBrody** , **mywarisalreadywon** , **McGeeklover** , and **iwillneverbefound

**You guys are just the best! Please also don't forget to review on this last chapter :)**

**Peace out**

**Cupcake01**


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